Chapter Twenty-eight WHY ARE WE HERE AND WHO SAID IT HAS TO BE HARD?

WHY ARE WE HERE
AND
WHO SAID IT HAS TO BE HARD?


Over these months and as chronicled in this Blog I have been on a journey of self discovery which started with the question; Who said it has to be hard? As with all of my journey in this lifetime and especially in the last few years, part of the quest to find the answers has led me to look inside myself and part has led me to places far beyond the physical me. Ironically, in some ways, things in my life are so much less resolved than they appeared to be when I started writing. The status of my marriage is a question mark, my friend has not yet repaid my loan, my consulting business appears to be taking flight; but I love the appearance of “not knowing” and the feeling of not “being in control”.

I have worked through and let go of so many illusions about who I am. I see that I made it hard because I felt unworthy of having things come easily (at least some things). I made it hard because I felt guilty about things done in this life and many others and so, felt undeserving, not necessarily of things, but of ease. I made it hard as a way to punish myself for past sins and squandering past successes. I made it hard so I could relate to others on the planet who are struggling and who, if needing and wanting my help, could learn from my journey.

I have learned just how brave I really am and I am blown away by what I am and have been willing to look at, feel and let go of in this and, now, many other lives. One of my friends recently gave me a compliment saying that I constantly challenge myself. It may look like a challenge but, in truth, I am striving for “more” because I know that “more” exists. As I know more of the unlimited part of myself that is spirit I also know that I can incorporate more of that spirit into my life and human existence and I am, frankly, greedy and hungry to do exactly that because it feels so amazingly great.

When I started this Blog I felt, but did not yet “know” that it doesn’t have to be HARD. Through this journey I know in every fiber of my being that it does not have to be hard. I can choose to make it hard and there may be times when I do that but the great news is, if I go there, it will be a CONSCIOUS choice and not because HARD is my default.

I am worthy. I am beautiful, both in body and in spirit. I am lovable. I am loving. I am creation. I am gifted. I am more than willing to use all my gifts for the benefit of others. I am joy, love and light in a human body and I will have all my gifts so that I can shine that light for myself and anyone who wants to see it. And whatever I am, each and every one of you is too. We are all joy, love and light in human bodies and I urge each of you to take one step back from the apparent drama of your life to consider the “moreness” of you.

So, who said it has to be hard? I did, but I don’t any more. I know, for me, and for anyone else who decides to do it differently, it isn’t hard; it’s our choice.

From the knowledge that is doesn’t have to be hard, within me, to the knowledge that it doesn’t have to be hard, within you….

To be continued…for a few more days!