Chapter Twenty-six Sex, No Drugs and Rock and Roll

SEX, NO DRUGS AND ROCK AND ROLL

There are many themes I’m working with this morning and I am not yet consciously aware of how, or if, they intersect, so we will just have to see where the dots connect. Two of my best friends have birthdays, respectively, today and tomorrow and I am just constantly amazed and grateful to have created such a smart, fun, interesting, wonderful, supportive and awake group of friends. Now, that was an interesting experience because I wanted to distance myself from having created this circle of friends. I wanted it to have been luck or divine intervention or deus ex machina, or just about anything other than my creation. And this is so notwithstanding that about a year and a half ago I specifically asked for a more spiritually aware and less humanly judgmental group of friends. Some old friends left, some new ones showed up and the ones who stayed (including me) have lost, for the most part, the judgments and ramped up the spirit.

Ok, I see the dots connected and, as usual, I should have known that it is all about ME. Today I am going to step into something huge, right in front of your and my very eyes and I’m happy to report that I’m chagrined about this more than nauseated or wanting to bite off my left leg. So, dear readers (and Leslie) today I claim my ability and, yes, the dreaded “P” word, POWER (jeez I couldn’t even type it correctly I’m so uncomfortable with it). I’m just going to breathe into the concept of my power, my abilities, my role, my gift, in this and every other lifetime and I feel it as energy but a warm energy like someone placed a slightly warm and electrified blanket or shrug on my shoulders (ok a mantle).

I have been creating a lot lately and not wanting to own it. But I see now how foolish that has been because I cannot teach people that they can create their lives, and I truly believe THEY can, if I’m not willing to own having created mine. And the interesting, at least to me, thing is that I am great at owing my creations when they look bad or messed up. I have just been terrible at owning and unwilling to own them when they look fantastic (as many of them actually do).

To put some of this in context: in late November or early December I was guided to put together a radio show where people would call in with their problems or issues and, through guidance, I would help them shift the situation or at least gain some significant insight about it, while on the radio. I was offered, and accepted, opportunities to have such a show, but at a pretty hefty charge to me. I absolutely believed that there would be a radio station in my area, where I could have a show at no cost to me. It is now March 12 and on March 10 I did my second broadcast from a new radio station in a town near mine where I have been offered a weekly show at no charge to me. Added to this creation is that my best friend is acting as the moderator, I get to have a guest on the show to interview each week so I get to hang out with some wonderful and amazing people and the people who created this station are just fantastic and a joy to work with. So there!

I have created some changes in my personal life as well. Any of you who have followed this blog know that my husband has often showed up to help me learn some lessons and for that participation and dedication I am truly thankful. Whether through his need or mine, or possibly both, many of those exercises have been painful, angry and sad. I have learned to trust my knowing, to love, honor and value myself, that lessons do not have to be learned from pain, what love means to me and the most recent lessons are how deeply and how much some people in this life value me and that I forgive myself for everything I have ever done in any life that has come forward into this life to be healed and forgiven. If that sounds like a mouthful, believe me it was! And I’m just sitting here paying homage to the work I have done and been willing to do and I am thanking, from the bottom of my heart, everyone in and not in a body, who has helped me with these lessons.

I am done fighting, I am done with guilt and with learning lessons from pain and I have created a situation where I am in my beautiful and wonderful house with my son for 10 days at a time and then in another beautiful and wonderful house by myself for another four days on a rotating basis. And in both houses it is calm and peaceful and beautiful and supportive and loving and it just feels great. And I wish my husband, whom I love, all the peace and love and beauty and happiness and fun he wants to create.

Next I’m going to create unlimited wealth so that I can travel and create an amazing space, with all my wonderful friends, where people can visit to be pampered inside and out, take classes, be supported and furthered in their growth and learn that it does not have to be hard.

I think that’s it for today. I’m going to get dressed up to take my friend to lunch for her birthday and just enjoy my creation.

From the unlimited ability to create within me, to the unlimited ability to create within you….

To be continued…